Jun 29
Deception Tips Video 98 — Truths Like Lies
Hey guys, my name is Spencer Coffman, thank you for watching the Deception Tips videos. They’re all about how to read people and detect deception so that you will be able to tell if someone is lying to you. Today, we’re going to talk about an abnormality in the deception detection world. This is a personality trait or display of people who may not be normal, so they’re abnormal.
They may have a disorder, they might be sick, you never know but it’s not the norm, so these are the outliers or the people that are way outside the bell curve, remember a bell curve. Then we’ve got some people over here that may lie a ton, some people that don’t lie at all and then everybody else in the middle at that high point. So, this is about those outliers who may lie a lot and how they display their behaviors.
So, here it is, this is a Deception Tip number 98. When dealing with pathological liars, lies will look normal and truths may look like lies. This is because they feel more comfortable telling lies than truths. There are a couple of differences here, so first off pathological liars, these guys are not normal, they feel more comfortable telling lies than the truth.
This is because they’ve grown up all the time only telling lies, no one has ever told them it was wrong. We spoke about pathological liars in a previous deception tip, number 94, you’ll see that pop up above here. Maybe no one ever told them lying was wrong, maybe they just didn’t listen, either way, they have lied so often and so much that now their unconscious and conscious aren’t battling anymore.
It’s like the lying conscious overtook the unconscious and now the unconscious is like, well, lying is normal so when they lie, I don’t need to do anything. However, if the truth may look like the lie it’s because now the unconscious says wait a minute, this isn’t normal, something is wrong, you don’t normally do this, I don’t feel right. So, now it displays some signs of leakage because this person is telling the truth and they normally don’t tell the truth.
It’s not in little insignificant things, it may be in things that are a little bit more serious, things like, how are you doing today or do you like my haircut, those types of polite or social conversations and small talk, they’re not going to display leakage. They would only display leakage if it’s something heavy, something serious, something major in their life or in the lives of others that’s affecting them that when they tell this truth it might look like a lie.
It’s important for you to watch for patterns and clusters of behavior and then also to determine how they are normally. Hopefully, you will know that this person might be a pathological liar. You may have gotten some kind of inclination that they are lying a lot and that when you speak to them you have to sift through what they’re saying.
It’s very important to get a great baseline behavior because if you don’t have that good baseline behavior you’ll never know whether or not the truth is a lie or their lie is a lie, that is what you really need to focus on. So, with pathological liars and with anyone in general, a baseline is a very good thing. A baseline is something like you ask them some questions that you already know whether or not they’re true.
You may ask them their name, you may ask them what they did yesterday, you may ask them what they’re wearing. Certain things that you can verify instantly that you know whether or not they’re true or false. That way, whatever answer they give you, you can pay attention to and say, well, wait a minute, all those answers they gave me were true, I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary.
Wait a minute, all those answers they gave me are false and I didn’t see anything out of the ordinary, so it’s one or the other. Normal people, if they give you a lot of true answers, nothing should be out of the ordinary. These pathological people, if they give you a lot of true answers, you might say, wait a minute, all those answers were true yet they displayed a lot of weird signs, maybe this person is a pathological liar and they’re more comfortable telling lies than truths.
So, that’s something you need to sift out, just remember that these people are outliers, they are not the norm. Most people are right in the middle of that bell curve and then there are very few people over on one side that are pathological liars, they lie all the time and they’re very comfortable with it. Then there are some people that pretty much never lie, most people are in the middle, so you don’t need to worry about this, you simply need to be aware.
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Also, if you’d like some more information, we have books, podcasts, and blog posts all available on spencercoffman.com that are dedicated to teaching you exactly what every body is really saying.
Until next time.
